Published Nov. 25, 2015 on LinkedIn:
The most powerful business lessons I learn often don't come from business experiences. Most frequently they have been coming from my eight year old daughter, who has taken a shine to providing me sage advice.
I explained to her one night, snuggled up before bedtime, about a challenge I had at work. I told her I had someone who was working really, really hard, but they weren't doing a good job on their project. The people he was working with were getting frustrated. I said that if he wasn't trying, I would be tough on him. Because I knew he was trying so hard, though, I struggled with how to handle the situation. She wisely, with the obviousness only a kid could manage, advised, "You need to switch him with someone else. He is probably frustrated too, because he wants to be doing a good job. Give someone else a try at solving the problem, and give him a chance to do well at another project."
I keep going back to her with my challenges, and every time, she gives me a true gem: full of honesty, good nature, and clarity. Her advice has reminded me to open my eyes to the other sources I have to draw upon to keep improving how I handle relationships in business, and my own career.
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Travel: Unpack your baggage
I spend a lot of time traveling to see clients, speaking on mobile and digital trends, and occasionally even for fun with my family. I have gotten a good humored reputation for my efficient packing skills. My small carry-on suitcase has been dubbed a "lunchbox," which I can pack no matter the length of trip, climate of the destination, or the number of activities I need to plan for.
When I need to pack my lunchbox to the gills, I find a satisfaction in solving the puzzle - deodorant stuffed in a high heel shoe, space-saver vacuum bags, multi-function toiletries. However, when I am on a one or two night trip, my bag seems cavernous and empty. I started looking for a more perfectly sized bag for shorter trips, anxious about the wasted space in my carry-on.
Then it hit me. It is not always about packing so efficiently you can cram in more, it is about finding peace with a roomier bag.
In life and in business, I need to learn how to make space. Space in my day, space in my mind. I have to stretch out. In my packed calendar, maybe that means booking time on either end of an intense meeting. On the weekends, maybe it means realizing that leisurely enjoying my morning coffee with my family is not doing nothing, but rather doing something of extremely high value.
As busy professionals, the need to unpack our baggage is as much metaphorical as literal.
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Yoga: Learn to stay
This year has brought me an unexpected gift - my love of yoga. I used to hate yoga. I felt impatient, and bored. I was the kind of misfit who brought coffee to yoga. An amazing instructor changed that for me, and I have been able to find both the kind of peace and challenge that I'd previously heard others describe.
One morning when we were setting our intention for our practice, my yoga instructor gave me words that have now been written permanently into both my life and career philosophy. She said that when things get tough, society teaches us to tense up to fight, or to run away. Yoga teaches us to stay, even in the hard moments, to breath.
I had given my Senior Leadership Team at work the recommendation to read Fierce Conversations, and had also been going through some difficult conversations of my own. In keeping with my affinity for packing a suitcase efficiently, I also believe in energy conservation. When things get too hard, or I determine the return on my energy is low, I often walk way. That has been a skill that has protected me and served me. But at times, it also means I eject before I get the satisfaction of fully changing the tide around me.
Honor yourself, absolutely. Protect and defend yourself, absolutely. Also, be okay with staying in the hard moments, and knowing you are safe there. You can do good work in those moments. In business, inertia can sweep you along, and showing up when times are good is easy.
If you can be the kind of leader who leans in when things are hard, you will never regret whatever comes next.
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Life: Don't be boring
I spend a lot of time meeting new people, networking, and on both ends of sales conversations. After one particularly long and grueling day of back to back meetings and presentations, I was wiped out. Someone asked me a question, I can't even recall what, and I blurted out, "All I really want in life is a chicken coop." It was, in that instant, the truest thing I could say. After a moment of mutual confusion, we ended up having a meaningful, memorable, and authentically enjoyable conversation about growing up with chickens and why providing my daughter a similar kind of experience matters to me. We talked about our values, instead of bantering buzzwords.
I left the conversation thinking a lot about another of my core beliefs - life should be entertaining, amusing, and definitely not boring. As we strive towards automating personalized experiences in marketing and sales, intending to make people feel special and engaged, I also see a simultaneous trend towards impersonalization. What are we doing as humans to increase the easiest form of personalized engagement - being people?
I love what technology offers us to enable more insights and data-driven understanding as an augmentation - not a replacement - of the personal interactions we should be enhancing.
Engage with your clients, your employees, your loved ones. Show them something of yourself. Laugh more.
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If you need more career wisdom, look around at some of the unlikely sources in your life. There are lessons all around us. I'd love to hear about some of your unlikely sources of wisdom in
