Nurture shock

Anyone who has talked to me in the past two months has probably heard me mention the book Nurture Shock. It is not a "parenting" book, but an examination of popular childhood development beliefs, and the studies that reveal whether those beliefs actually make any sense or not.

So much of it is common sense when you think about what data shows, and it has made me think a lot about how much being a mom has changed in the nearly 4 years I've been doing it. Every day now I have to consider what my actions and words are teaching Adelaide. The terrifying part is that however much effort we put into our conscious behavior, she learns and absorbs all the time, and picks up things I wouldn't have even guessed - most of the time that means she astonishes us with new words and understandings.

We were discussing sharing, and how she and I always share everything with each other, and she said, "Except your computer." Revealing.

It gets better... I make a point of telling her all the time how the thing I am most proud of is how she has a sweet and kind heart, and we also ensure we are always praising her efforts (i.e., you worked hard, not you are so smart). I was putting her to bed, and talking about all of the things I am proud of her for. She said, "I am proud of you for working so hard to do all your work."

These small points remind me that no matter what we intend, our kids can see us for who we are, even when they are only 3 years old. And she has shown me that apparently I am a workoholic who selfishly loves her Macbook. ;-)